Excerpt from Return of the Moth: Still More Porridge

“Why are you looking so jubilant?” said Owl nastily.

“I stole this ancient artifact from Grim!” Cat held up a carved wooden bowl. Everyone crowded round to examine it.

“This is porridge,” said Sir Ontzlake after a moment.

Endless porridge,” corrected the Cat.

“Exactly what will that be useful for?”

“Well, say that we wanted to build a castle. This would be invaluable!” They looked at him blankly. Cat elaborated, “For mortar, you chumps! Cold porridge sets up just like rock. And this ancient porridge happens to be exceptionally sticky.” He paused for a moment. “They don’t make porridge like they used to.”

“It’s true,” said the Owl, “When I was an owlet they used to grind boulders—but why on earth would we need to build a castle?”

Cat rolled his eyes. “Details, details.” Still, there was a contemplative silence. What could be done with the artifact?

“Maybe we could… eat it?” suggested Icarus. They all looked at the bowl and discovered that they were quite full. Sir Ontzlake turned faintly green. There was nothing disugsting about the appearance of the bowl’s contents per se, but the thought of sixty or seventy squelches of a spoon into that heavy, endless slop was enough to make him sick.

“Well,” said the Cat. “Why don’t you carry it.” He handed it to Icarus before there was time to object. Then they set off marching again. Everyone who could took care to stay upwind of the bowl.

“Couldn’t you have discovered the Endless Bowl of Diamonds and Gold?” asked the Owl peevishly.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s